[sanorin]

As suggested by yoshiki, I start a new topic for this, because is not a small or non important news:

To everybody

these last days there has been information about [my] divorce reported in the mass media; that included, I intend to talk about my honest feelings during these last 12 years.

1, about the last 12 years until now
During the 12 years from 1998 until now, I have been active, but during that time, while my agency was Home of Heart Ltd, a whole subsidiary of Healing World Ltc (using the same staff), all income from my activities I have handed over to them.
Until now, even though I have worked an exceedingly busy schedule, without any rest at all, leaving aside money for the most basic living expenses, no income I have had, including from concert appearances, donations, normal [on tour?] living expenses or even X JAPAN related income, has been given to me.
Up to today, a huge amount of money that has been involved has been taken away from me.
What I have actually been living on has been the help of friends, people I knew who have helped me out.
Even now, when I got sick, I could only rely on help from friends.

2, about Toshi Office Ltd.
Even though I was the [official] repersentative of Toshi Office Ltd, it was a complete subsidiary of Home of Heart Ltd, and I have not at any time held any rights, including those of management and accounting.
All income from my daily activities has been passed on to Kaori Moritani* (wife) or Home of Heart Ltd or Healing World Ltd, who on top of that, while I was unaware of the details, incurred huge tax debts and took out large loans in my name.
Until now, I have basically been an unpaid worker for the benefit of Home of Heart Ltd.
The life I've been leading as described above is the result of my having met, 12 years ago, producer Masaya and Kaori Moritani (wife), thinking then for whatever reason I don't know that they rescued me.
Regarding things from now on, due to my long lasting distress, I'm truly exhausted both mentally and physically.

3, about Kaori Moritani (wife)
Since 10 years ago, effectively we have not been husband and wife.
Aside from having met her occasionally related to work [issues], I do not know anything about her actual life.
Kaori Moritani, having chosen to live with Masaya over family life with me, has lived in Nasu for the last 10 years.
I have lived in a small room in an apartment building located in Shiba, Minato City, Tokyo.
Given those circumstances, to get out of [lit: cancel - Ed] marriage relationships that were form only, I have contended [lit: pleaded, declared] for divorce mediation from my wife.
That despite that not being the truth Kaori Moritani published on her blog lies that we were living happily together, that she pressured [alt: forced] me into activities such as duets [with her], all those lies are the cause for my extreme psychological exhaustion.

4, about court [of law cases]
Since I have visited the Home of Heart Ltd office in Nasu only once, about ten years ago, and Toshi Office Ltd in Nasu only 3 or 4 times, I have no knowledge what went on at Home of Heart Ltd or Toshi Office Ltd, nor have I any way to know what the contention of any court proceedings is.
That during the number of civilcourt cases that have happened until now my name has always been dragged through the news has caused me anguish and heartaches.

5, about [my] current situation
Under my current circumstances, it was unavoidable to declare bankruptcy and I have received the adjudication of bankruptcy.
In the process of the current bankruptcy determination investigation proceedings I look forward to finding out information regarding money and accounting issues at Home of Heart Ltd, Healing World Ltd and Toshi Office Ltd that I have been previously unaware off.
As for myself, I intend to entrust [myself] to the public agencies** investigating the truth and give them my fullest cooperation.

I feel as if I've finally woken up after long years of betrayal.

That I couldn't talk for a long time about the truth I've told above, the pressure for rigorous work that was brought on me endlessly daily, the physical and mental pain piled up and up [through that] was what caused my current sickness.

For things I have said and done, articles I published on my blog, that [were] unavoidable for work, telling lies while suppressing my own intentions, I humbly apologize.

Of the 44 years I have lived until now, the last two and a half months seem longer [lit: bigger] than a whole lifetime.
Having spent this time carefully thinking, understanding what the really important thing is [alt: things are], at this point, I am determined to start my life over.
Keeping these feelings in mind [lit: not forgetting] for the rest of my life, however modest, I intend to live a life without lies from now on.
To everybody who has been supporting me, I am truly grateful.
From now on, someway or other, [still, by implication - Ed] watch TOSHI.

http://bxte.info/English/News/BXtE-News-TO...st-on-MIXI.html

I still don't know what to think, I'm shocked by this so suddenly... I would like to think that the blog post wasn't written by Toshi, but by a hacker from the sensationalist media impersonating Toshi, and I want to wait until tomorrow, when suposedly his lawyer is going to talk.
If all is true, I will continue to support Toshi and wish him the best luck. About all the healing music he has done for so many years, to think that all was not as it looked like... He certainly healed people, but not himself, it makes me sad. But I will keep listening to it because of Toshi's beautiful voice, and message. Although the writer, Masaya, would be just a vulture, and I wouldn't give him any money by buying the cds and dvds I wanted to buy.

[yoshiki]

I want to think that the healing music really helped him, but now with all the reunion and being more active, etc. he realized he didn't need it anymore and started being tired of Masaya and the fake marriage...

[Matthias]

Don't know yet what to think about that, as Toshi describes it the last decade must have really sucked for him (money and marriage-wise) so I hope it will get better for him from now on.

[NKL]

Oh man....Poor TOSHI

but I will wating for the official anouncement from Toshi's Lawyer abou the Thruth

His song is heal many people but not himself,Irony

Yoshiki should help him in anyway he can to drag him out of the Darkness and Betrayal

This post has been edited by NKL: Jan 17 2010, 06:06 PM

[HarZy]

This is kind of sad, but Toshi will probably be happier without HoH. It's still hard for him though and I hope he can handle the pain well.

[Junek]

i'm shocked. they have fucking him over decade wtf.

[winterspelt]

[Funny Mode]OMG Yoshiki brainwashed TOSHI!!!![/Funny Mode]

On a serious level, I wonder who is the one who want to leave, Toshi leaves Kaori? Kaori leaves Toshi? I really dont care about this till it becomes official... For some reason the media always take things out of context so I MAY feel happy/sad/whatever about this issue if its announced by an official spokesman or Toshi/Kaori him/herself.

[Queenie]

I´ll take all of this with a grain of salt, waiting for the official sources to confirm/deny it.

[Hypno]

@winterspelt & Queenie - the translation in the first post is from Toshi's personal blog on MIXI, so that's pretty much as official/straight from Toshi as it can get. Toshi's lawyer is supposed to give a press conference on Monday, we'll see what happens then. But unless Toshi's blog was hacked, it's pretty much laid out right here.

[Queenie]

Thanks Hypno. I was going to edit my post about it. No words, seriously...

[You_Too]

If this is all true, and I think it seems so, then I'm not really surprised.
Toshi seems to be a really really nice person and unfortunately, when some greedy assholes
with no hearts can use unselfish people to bring themselves fortune, they do.
I hope Masaya, Kaori and healing-whatever will have to pay every single penny back to Toshi.
Of course I'll wait for an official statement but it really seems true to me right now when I read it.

[MIHO]

I'm just really fucking sad and dissapointed at the moment, since I LOVED everything T-Earth and TOSHI Healing related. I loved the honest meaning behind the songs, and the lyrics really helped me when I felt bad.
And of course, I feel really bad for Toshi. I hope he's doing okay.


Thanks for the translation.

[yoshiki]

Exactly, don't need to wait for an official statement, the long text on the first post was written by Toshi himself and sadly confirms all what the press said.

[X Radical Blues]

O hai world good morning let's check what X Boards ha-FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

My mind is blown right now. Where to start? I can't imagine the amount of flames that Masaya and Wanku are gonna get in their webs now. Their sales will probably meet a brink, too.

Toshi wasn't brainwashed. It was WORSE, he has economically and physically abused. They didn't even make him part of their group, didn't make him suck all their ideals, they just hanged onto his big name and used him when it was convenient for them. The rest of the time he didn't matter. He didn't became part of them, he became their tool. Kaori said the most lies, I figure Toshi just played along her lies to cover her up. No matter how bad it was, she was still his wife.

Yes, as people have said, all the music he made these years is still valuable and precious, but he missed in singing for himself too, he just sang his heart out for the sake of others, and didn't even get a cent for it. He's not a martyr, he's a fool for letting himself get stepped over, after all the times he talked about standing against bullies in his blogs. I guess it's 1997 all over again, the music he was doing was great, but if it's draining his life, better stop, bye T-EARTH and other projects. He filled the void with the wrong people back then in 1997, let's hope that now in 2010 he choses the right family. He declared bankruptcy? I seriously hope that he's getting enough for his retirement from Yoshiki and X now. Remember the tabloids mentioning about Toshi getting a large sum of money when he rejoined X? My guess is that he was either trying to save himself, or that HoH exhorted him to join and leeched all the money. Either way, all his incomes from now on should go for himself. Go get your house with big swimming pool and fancy cars again Toshi, you fucking deserve it.

People were mentioning something about scientology. All I was able to find was that he played with a scientologist pianist towards the end of the last year. I seriously hope he's not dumb enough to go from giving his millions to someone who preaches with peace to giving millions to someone who preaches with UFOS.

I feel that right now he should just stick with X as his family, but the band is so hard to keep together since everyone has their agenda... it probably can't be like 15 years ago. If he can't stay with someone close for now, become a motherfucking lone millionaire atheist who gets free sex, like Yoshiki `-` he's the happiest, there's no more to happiness than that, rly.

[MIHO]

I completely agree with XRB. Seriously. I hope Toshi is happier now, that he can really be free.

[yoshiki]

http://www.sanspo.com/geino/news/100118/gn...80506001-n1.htm
His lawyer is going to talk about it tomorrow.

[X Radical Blues]

I've been reading a few web 2.0 sites and I'm shocked that so few people are actually mad at him for telling lies, even if they were just follow-up lies. The guy is goddamn lucky to be loved so much by people, so he has a clear way to go ahead and remake his life.

For me it's not a huge impact as I've never judged artists with what they do on their personal lives, unless they're killing people or some sick shit. This is just a demonstration of humanity, he's made a lot of mistakes, I guess that's what making people sympathize with him, and the fact that he's willing to correct them.

[Pan]

I still don't know what to think, or what I'll end up writing, I'll just let my feelings flow through my fingers; I might regret it later, but this has been a goddamn hard shock for me, really, really hard. I have my heart at the palm of my hand.

I have a knot in my throat. I am disgusted, somehow mad, but I am even more sadder than anything else. How could he let them take complete control of him? How could he miss to see that people were using him, once again? But I have no right to be mad at him for his personal issues, I haven't been in his shoes, I can't understand it; the only thing I know is despair and the sole thought of being alone is strong enough to make us do things that might be wrong, and that we will end up regretting, they're actions dominated by fear. Once again, I can not know what he has been through, and less understand it, I'm just trying to find ease on my mind by thinking through a sort of possibilities what could have happened.

I will always love his music, nothing in the world will erase how much his songs have helped me, especially through the hardest time in my life. He's my favourite singer, that's a fact. He has given me so much, that the least I can do is wish him the best, that he can find ease in his heart, and get a hold of everything he deserves and earned with his hard work and talent. I truly hope this is the last time he has to go through this, and I believe he needs professional help in order to heal properly, I might not be an expert in the area, but I think he still haven't learned to value himself. It's ironic how his music have helped to heal thousands of people but himself, it's his turn now.

As for me, I'm not buying any Toshi solo thing until I know for sure where that money is going to.

I support him, but I'm still disappointed. I have a cocktail of feelings, I need time too.

[yoshiki]

Press conference in Tokyo tomorrow

http://www.sponichi.co.jp/entertainment/ne...0/01/18/01.html

[X Radical Blues]

That's pretty much what I was saying Panwie . Toshi either has a lot of charisma or a lot of luck to have people empathize with him in such way. He's still my favorite singer and if anything, today I like him more than before. It takes to be a big fool to be used that way by your friends and wife, but it takes a lot more balls to admit your errors and move forward in life.

Like MIHO mentioned above, I also find T-EARTH works absolutely amazing, surely the musicians he got involved with did a great job, and Toshi sang from his heart these deep lyrics. Sekai no hate ni is one of my favorite Toshi songs ever. Surely Masaya is a great composer and songwriter, and Toshi and Kaori were really professional in singing together with feeling (eh well, Toshi was sining, Kaori moans, we've always said it, haha). Finding out that he was being treated like a dog breaks the subjective view on the music, but not the objective one, which still makes it great. I know I'll keep listening Sekai no hate ni over and over since the song moves me like no other. But in no way I think he should keep on performing for them.

It's not like Toshi has suddendly lost his worries about helping other people, or taking care of the planet, he has always portrayed such feelings since the beginning of his solo career. I just hope that he can find the way to keep on expressing it with justice and fairness, either in X JAPAN (X's music is healing too, in a different way) or in new solo projects. I'd love to see him perform with Shuichi Aoki again, or finally a duet with Demon Kogure, now that they scream so similarly, haha.